No more helping friends

Hi everyone,

School has started. The same old lectures, the same teacher, same old stuff...I am tired of it already. A lot happened lately but again, there's lack of time to post anything. If I even try to post everything in a single post, it will just be a novel.

 

So some of you might know that I was helping two friends who were in depression. I help people when I can. If it's money that you need, my wallet is open for you. If you are hungry, my fridge is open for you. If you feel sad, there's my shoulder you can lean on and cry. If you are in a pinch and find yourself in the streets, there is a room at my house waiting for you. I help and I don't want anything in return.

 

I am going to skip the details. A friend got dumped by her boyfriend. So for an entire year, I've always been by her side no matter what. I spent long hours writing encouraging emails on facebook, taking her out for activities so she can have her mind focused on something else, more emails written during my busy schedule even when I was in class and let's not forget the long hours on the phone trying to comfort her. What happens? One year later, she crosses path with her ex and she immediately calls out for him, text him, and asks forgiveness from him. All the guidance and advices I gave her, all the time and devotion I have put to help her turned out to be useless. I was sooo pissed off. Why did she have to beg for him? I understand that maybe she might still have feelings for him but she should at least have some dignity for herself. She came to me and asked for my help. So what did I do? I tried reasoning with her and she just tells me off: "You don't understand my love for him." What? "This is just something that me and him can understand." She just dated that guy for a year and I dated my ex for 10 years. She dares to tell me I know nothing?

 

Then there is this other friend who was in need of money. He came to me saying that he was on the verge of committing suicide. I was like what the f*ck. He told me that he doesn't have friends and needs my help. So I told him that he can call me whenever he needs it and I'll try my best to support him morally. On top of that, I also gave him some money. As time goes by, people who know him told me to be careful about him and that he is full of lies. The thing is that I cannot judge people based on gossips. So he calls me often just to chat which I have no problems with. But the more we talk, the more troublesome it becomes and I will explain why. He also has someone else who helped him to pay a debt and he talks behind his back. Are you serious? Trust me on this. When someone helps me for whatever it is, big or small favours, I will remember it for the rest of my life. The last thing I want to do is to give trouble to people who help me. So he is talking bullsh*t about a person he owes. And again, I cannot judge someone based on gossips. Another thing I cannot do is to fake being nice with someone when I actually despise that person. So I was told so many bad stuff about the person he owes and I was questioning myself if it was ok to hang out with him if he was truly a bad person.

I had no other choice but to ask that person myself about all these gossips. I must say that I'm glad that I did because apparently, it all turns out to be false. So obviously he got mad because he helped this guy and then he gets backstabbed. I really can't blame him for that. The next day, the guy who owes me calls me and says that he is disappointed at me.

him: Gloria...you disappoint me these days.
me: What is this all about?
him: Why did you call Jim *fake name to cover the true identity*?
me: What's up with that? I talk with whoever I want. He called me anyways and I answered. What's the problem?
him: Why did you tell him what I told you? He isn't suppose to know any of that.
me: I can't hate him on something which I am not sure if he is truly like what you told me. What am I suppose to do? Fake at being nice with him?
him: You just have to cut contact with him.

I can't believe this. I think that he believes that I'm his bitch and that he can boss me around. What is this? Again, he came to me and asked for my help and now he tells me with who I can be friends with? What gives him the right to tell me what to do? This is my life and I hang out with whoever I want. I don't owe him anything. Anyways, my conversation with him went a little further and I think he gets my message. Since then, he never called me and I have no clue if he is also making up gossips behind my back to other people.

Both these people have literally forced me to go into a bathtub full of sh*t. I am extremely disgusted to the bones. It's unbelievable. I don't expect anything in return but all I am asking is peace and not making me mad. So at the end of the day, all the tables are turned against me and I get blamed for everything. But now that I think about it, I do not regret it and especially that money. I bought myself some valuable experience. I am so sorry to say this but I am done helping friends. I am NOT helping anyone anymore except for few ones which I know will never treat me like this. It's really over. My help is not appreciated and I believe they could even pull my head off from my body and step on it. Don't get me wrong! I will continue to help people but it will rather be people I don't know or strangers. I'll buy food and give it away to homeless people. They don't need to recognize my face and at least, they will be happy with the food given.

Moral of story: Before jumping in a situation to help someone, think twice. Even if they beg you. Sometimes, it's just not worth your effort and they won't even recognize your help. Your resources may be wasted and your reputation tarnished. That's one hell of a good lesson I learned for myself.

Have a nice weekend! :)