It has been a while. I know. There were just a lot going on. I wasn't sure of how I should handle everything at once. I'm just going to start with the stuff that is weighting my heart right now.
So last month, my ex remained quiet and didn't contact me for a while which was a good thing. I was busy with school and he didn't disturb me. I also went shopping with my mom, went to see friends, ...I was just enjoying how life is supposed to be. Then one evening, I was in the shower and when I checked my cell phone, there was 8 missed calls from him which is pretty weird. So I called him back...
Him: Glo...I need your help.
Glo: What is it?
Him: I need 400$.
Glo: What!?...What the fuck? Where are you right now?
Him: Halifax...
Glo: What the hell? What are you doing there?
Him:....doing some stuff...I lost my wallet. It has been days that I've been sleeping outside.
Glo:...Are you alone?
Him: No I am with two more people.
Glo: ok...how about them? Don't they have money on them?
Him: Not a lot.
Glo: Who are those people?
Him: Just friends...
You know what? This just sounds extremely fishy. Going on a trip with broken ass friends. Are you serious? The only thing that could make sense is if he's in fact with a girl. Because the guy always pays and the girl just sits there with her hands wide open to receive the goodies. So anyways, I decided to send him 300$ via western union. Everything is done and I went to sleep.
Next morning, he calls me at 7am. Now what? Apparently, he couldn't take the money because the only card he had on him was his license but it does not indicate his date on birth on it. So he sends me his other friend's name which is a girl's name. Good lord! A girl.... So let me sort this out to you. He went on a trip\date with his bitch and lost his wallet. Now, he's asking his ex-girlfriend to help him out to get a room. That's extremely cruel. It's true that I didn't have any much feelings left for him but that was a huge stab to old wounds. Anyways, I still sent him the money because he must be extremely desperate at this point...sleeping in the cold winter is not fun.
He promised me to repay me back...today afternoon. I called him and no answer. I called and called countless times like a crazy woman. Finally, he calls me finally at 7pm and tells me that he lost his cell phone but that he could meet me right away. So my mom gave me a lift and I finally meet him. The first thing that I asked was why he didn't call me to cancel our meeting or something instead of leaving me hanging there. After he explained, I felt bad for him. He had an urgent matter so he couldn't call me back.
I asked him about the girl with whom he went to Halifax with. He was extremely hesitant. But finally, he spilled it out. She is his new girlfriend. It's hard to explain how I felt. I was kind of sad and jealous but I was expecting this to happen. I didn't cry or anything. I was just staring at the emptiness. It's tiring. It's as if me and him are tangled together. Everything is a mess. So I decided to untangle everything.
From now on, don't call or text me anymore. You do not need me anymore and I don't want you to torment me with your new girlfriend. If we are both invited for dinner by common friends, I'll find an excuse to not come or you choose to not come. If you ever see me somewhere, just walk away and pretend you didn't see me. I'll do the same. I just want to end this crap for good.
He still insisted that he wanted to stay friends and that he needed my support. What about the support that I get? Trust me on this, it's extremely hard to move on after a long relationship. A lot of people don't understand it. We were together for so long that it became a comfort for me. So he wants me to be there for him for his sorry ass while he has friends and his new girlfriend. Just go to her arms! He does not need me anymore.
When I got home, I cooled down a little and I was rethinking about everything again. Was I too harsh? I can't write it in this blog but he's not in a good situation. It's the moment he needs support the most but...I just can't anymore and I believe I have no obligation to support him anymore.
His life shattered once when he broke up with me. Now his life shattered a second time because of his heart of greed. People never learn their mistakes until complete failure happens. Anyways, I completed my last exam today and hopefully everything will be fine. At least I am on vacation now. If I had to deal this hot mess before my exam, I think I would of fail my class again for sure.
Next post will be happier...I hope...
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