Let's begin with the good news. I passed all my courses so I won't have to repeat anything. Great! On top of that, my mom promised to reward me with a little gift.
Oh yeah baby!!! It's a show called bharati! You can see the 20 minutes preview right here: http://laplacedesarts.com/pda-famille/1933/bharati-il-etait-une-fois-l-inde.en.html
I'm truly excited! The dance, the choreagraphy, the clothes, the singing, and the thing is bringing you to India; a little trip in two hours. Just watching the video feels like you are in their world. Forget about everything and let yourself travel through this love story and make you dream! You just want to dance and tap your feet to the music. So I'm looking forward to it. :D I know Nixon will be coming for sure and maybe Sue, Melissa, Suraj, an his sis. So far, things are doing well for me! I got almost everything I wanted before and only got them his year. It's like all the hardwork is now being rewarded. It's kind of nice.
Now for the bad news unfortunately, it's all related to my ex. the difficult part in all of this hot mess is our mutual friends. Sometimes, I just want to hang out with everyone and just have fun. Forget about all the dramas and move on to the next page. So Suraj wanted to hang out with both of us, me and my ex, but of course he did asked my permission. Then Nixon asked me the same thing. It really sucks because we're all childhood friends and I don't want to put anyone in a difficult position. Sue told me that what matters most is how I feel about all of this. Are you going to be ok? Are you going to be alright if he suddenly becomes kind of clingy? To be honest, I don't feel anything for my ex and going back to him is absolutely out of question. The feelings are inexistant and the way he changed is not really pleasant to look at. Putting that aside, he lives his own life and I have to respect. We have different point of views and that's his life. We have different values and I also mine. So the same goes with my friends. We are all different but we are still connected somehow. He does call me occasionally for a chat and that's pretty much about it. I believe it's pretty much friendship more than anything else. So I told myself Why not!?. So we hanged out for a few times. Nothing there. Things are kept very simple and we laughed as nothing hapenned. That's what I liked! The pure fun and the warmth you get just being with everyone. That's what I loved. I love it. I love being with people I care with and have a great time without any drama.
The thing is that I noticed that he did become more and more clingy. I did make everything clear with him that we're just going to be friends. But he assured me that he just wants to be friends and nothing else. So I kind of hesitated for a moment. Am I doing the right thing? I personally do not care about him romantically except as a friend. But what about him? Is he lying to me? Is he lying to himself? The truth is just in front of you and you have to face it. I asked some of my friends and a lot of them asked me: Do you still love him? Did you make it clear with him? To answer these questions respectively, no and yes. Just imagining myself getting back with him gives me goosebumps. So they all tell me it's all ok. But is it really ok? Am I doing the right thing when it comes to hanging out with him? I don't know. I really want to know. But my friends always end up telling me it's ok or just just have no comment because they probably don't want to get involved. I sort of understand how they don't want to ive me the wrong opinion and getting blamed for giving me the bad advice. It won't happen anywas because I'm the one who makes decisions and I take full responsability for it.
Today, he invited me for supper with another friend. Everything went ok but when my mom called me to ask what's up? She was really mad. Why was she? Because I'm hanging out to much with him. Because she doesn't like the idea of me getting to close to him. It's really at this point where my entire family dislike him. I just want to hang out with my friends and that's it. But my mom did make some good points. Exes should just gracefully leave your life. Does he call me often? Yes. So he wants to get back with you. Friends don't call everyday. Does he alwyas sit next to me? Now that I'm thinking about it, yes he does. Or maybe is it a pure coincidence? Did he admit that he was somewhat jealous when I hang out with a guy in particular? At this point, you know the truth. What should I do? My mom says I shouldn't see him again. Now what? I don't know. If i meet him, then he would suffer emotionally and that would make me selfish or bad because I know all of this and I'm still doing this. I really want an honest opinion from someone who's not on my side or his side. In other words, someone neutral.
Urgh anyways, I don't know. All I know is that I'm going to see the show Bharati and I can't wait. I'm really at this stage where I just want to be happy. So I'm off to bed now. Got school tomorrow.=_= Goodnight everybody!
No comments:
Post a Comment