Stupid or just naive?

Hi everyone,

 

The week has been the same as usual. I've been doing my school stuff, replying to some emails from friends. It's great to keep in touch with everyone. There's even a guy I haven't seen since college who congratulated me via email after seeing my picture on facebook. But from all the emails I answered, most of them were advices related.

 

I am asked the same thing again and again.........and again. I realized something which is a fact. I have this girl friend who's having problem moving on from her boyfriend who's your typical waste of oxygen. Well, everyone will come across this problem soon or later. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, there will be a time when it will be hard to part with someone. What happens when your girlfriend or boyfriend cheats on you or did something wrong? Everyone would tell you to just move on. -Leave him. You can do things on your own. - She's a ***** for cheating on you. Just dump her. - The list goes on. I noticed something very crucial. It's easier said than done. Well, it's the obvious thing to say isn't it? Another thing I noticed, people who just tell you to move on never had a relationship before or their relationship is doing well and they never have any problems.

 

Trust me on this. Breaking up is hard because you are removing someone from your life. This means that you will never be with this person ever again. This is a person we are talking about and not an object. When there's something we don't need anymore, we just throw it away or recycle it. If it breaks, you simply buy a new one. After all, those are just materials so there isn't emotions attached to it. When you have to part from someone, this is a different story because there are emotions involved. That being said, we are humans and not robots. I wish there was a button I could press on my body to not be in love anymore or to not feel sad anymore. You can't control emotions or feelings.

 

I remember a certain woman who proudly claimed that if her husband ever cheated on her, she would leave him immediately. Ok... Years later, her husband cheats on her. At the end, she ended up begging him to stay instead of kicking him out. You will never understand the true pain until you go through it. You just observe the person crying because his partner left him and you think - pfft...just leave her.- We, the victims, are the loser. The observer is the winner. I definitely don't want to be the loser but some things can only be understood by the loser. Those are lessons that the winner cannot understand but can only notice. How does it feel to have cancer? I notice that it's extremely difficult for them but I can't say for myself because I'm not in that situation. You only see but can't understand unless you walk in his shoe. That's my point.

 

I'm ashamed to say that I did beg my ex to come back to me during the first week of our break-up but luckily I was able to move on really fast. Some people can move on fast like me. Others might take more time to move on and some might end up heart broken for the rest of their lives. It's never easy. Solutions that work for me doesn't mean it will work for others. It really takes time. There's no magical potion to feel better.

 

I was thinking the whole night yesterday. Ever since my break up, I promised myself to never be in a relationship again. The reason is simple. I'm afraid to be heartbroken again. It's a terrible feeling. I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to feel pain anymore. So like this, I might end up single for the rest of my life. But I noticed something else: risk is an opportunity. If you never take a risk, you will remain stagnant in whatever you do. I am going to a tangent line here.

 

If there are people who have not been in a relationship before, take this post as a warning because you might be the next victim. There's nothing you can do to avoid it but the only thing you can do is to be prepared for it. You need to be hurt in order to have life experience anyways. Experience is a cruel teacher who tests you without a warning. So are we stupid or naïve? None. We just have issues controlling our emotions.

 

Today and yesterday, I patiently helped a friend. I hope this friend will get better. So my study break is over. I hope you will have a great weekend. :)