The last dedication

Hi everyone,

 

After I had a good night sleep, I felt refreshed. It's a new day and all the other stuff happened yesterday is all in the past. It's time to get over it. Yes I do feel better but not 100% yet.

 

I feel emotionally better as well regarding my ex. I know he might be feeling sad and all but something has to be done. Maybe he is angry or even hates me right now...I didn't want to come to this and I know he regrets it and doesn't want this to end up like this. He'll thank me later when he will be able to turn the page. :) Despite all the crap that happened, I hope we can say 'Hi' and smile at each other if we ever meet one day either by coincidence or if we are both invited to an event by a friend in common.

 

That being said, I met my dad for lunch today and my mom tagged along. It was kind of cute. A family reunited together....for an hour. :D They separated since I was really young. They did have a lot to argue back then but it's a decision they made. It was better to separate instead of arguing every single day. Now, we just meet like that occasionally. They chat, laugh, ask each other advices, and smile at each other although they meet once or twice a year. I meet my dad frequently though. They put the past behind and their relationship is kind of friendly. Of course, they can't be best friends. It's just impossible. But it's nice of them to be able to keep in touch once in a while. I appreciate that but I don't want them to get back together. Hell no! *^*

 

I wonder about my ex...Is he ok? Is he crying? Is he drinking till passing out just to forget about this? I really want to know but at the same time, I don't want to. It'll just make me sad and I won't be able to do anything to fix the situation. We talked over and over again but this is it. There's just nothing to talk about anymore. Well, there's actually a lot but he knows what already...the same old things we talked about. If I could have the last few words to tell him, what would it be?

 

Sorry. Thank you. Goodbye. 

 

Well, I know he will be fine eventually. It will take some time and will but I know he will be ok.

 

I really wish him the best. I really do. I want him to do well. His dream was to run a restaurant and he's a good damn cook. I know he will own one and I'll probably come over to taste one of his dish someday. :3 He even took my cupcake cookbook...@_@ Well, I hope he will take good care of it as a souvenir from me. :)

 

Why am I posting this? I know a lot of you must be wondering. Am I still in love with him? Well, I just can't fake my emotions...saying things like I don't care about him when I actually do. The love I had for him is now long gone. So why do I still worry about him? Well, I knew him for a long time. So obviously, I would worry for him. The same goes to the girl who got involved in this. She was a good friend of mine. Please note the past tense. >_> But, I still wish her the best although she was in denial of what she did. I know you people must be like 'What is Gloria thinking?'. Well it's natural to feel that way. I did get angry...that rage which I couldn't control of wanting to rip their heads off with my own hands. But when I came to my senses, hatred is tiring and I do not even feel angry anymore. The grudge and resentment are all gone. So I could continue on hating but then what? It's not going to take me ahead in life, make me smarter, or make my life any better. All I'm left with is life experience. So yeah,...I'm just being honest with myself and I am not someone phony. What's wrong about me being sad? What's wrong with me for not being to figure things out faster? I'm just human and not a robot so we tend to think more with the heart sometimes.

 

A whole chapter is done hopefully and I actually feel much better now. It does feel better when you are honest with yourself rather than just brushing off your feelings.  So yeah! My birthday is next week and I'm soooo not excited. Damn! I'm turning 27!!! Hell no! TT_TT I wish I could remain 26 forever but I know it's not possible. Anyways, I hope you guys have a great week. :)

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